Archive for August, 2008

*To die may not be as hard as to live*

I was only a little child since i began to notice surrounding  in all its abundance of Colors.Beautiful and Magic Colors, but for difference of that, dominant color in my relationships to people was gray.I never was able to make *intimate and easy*contact to the others.I believe, there was no understanding between me and men i got to meet, and wrong belief  of having no wish  to make friends with many of them.My God,when i’m thinking of that,i must confess that it certainly was my guilt .There must be i was quite different with all my *twist* contemplation, ideas,incapable to talk about common things of interest for majority.
So,i was striving to get closer to people and at the same time i running away.

How great is my LOVE for people,testifies my Painting;villages and peasants i liked the best.Living together with them i had a feeling of security.Watching their agony sprouted from their hard work i was suffering and striving to put such suffering on my Canvas

The solution has always been  COLORS.That is WHY i was going CRAZY!
Looking for suitable Paint to express passion and flaming atmosphere of present Murders,Prostitutes and Wanderers in Café, i went Mad!
Dear Theo,
*The Letters of Vincent Van Gogh*if there was my Blame for being *Crazy and Despised*it comes from simply fact*I expose my Life to danger for my WORK and because of that my Mind is Dark.”

This is a quotation from his letter , found to Vincent on the day of his death, July 29 th 1890.

The Night Café

“”In that painting  i was longing to express how café is the place where man can be destroyed,to go mad and make crime”


I am sure that you have been fostered by love  great Minds  devoted to their works, with a feeling of a need of more understanding of what the lives of these people looked like.

There is no doubt that they have lived their lives in an unusual way ,not only for their creative powers than because surrounding  in which their masterpieces were made.Carrying a load of Creation, it was often difficult for them to make a living from own works. Van Gogh entirely matched this pattern .He was hungry during his life-a piece of bread and some coffee for few days until  money from Theo has come.

Vincent Van Gogh:About God and his work:*That is about unsuccessful designs and man loves the Artist who made them. This world had been slap together when Creator didn’t know what he was doing,when he had no awareness of himself….But,only great Masters can be so hard mistaken .”

I like this Quotation!

I am amazed at colors;colors and feelings determine his Work.

*What does drawing mean ? How it could be reached? It is an act of breaking through invisible wall placed between what we feel and what we are able*

This Story represents my free artistic interpretation of the Artist Life that i have  drawn Inspiration from.
Thank you.

The link to Irving Stone’s Masterpiece *Lust for Life* based on the letters Van Gogh wrote to his brother Theo.

Lust for Life



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My Today’s Motive to start writing is seeing of *Indiana Jones* on TV last night/ *Searching for Holy Grail*Searching for Holy Grail ,you remember of that,/Shone Connery as father of Indiana and they  were striving to find Holy grail/.So, the Holy Grail has been found on the end of film,there was sitting a Knight of the Templar in age about 700 years,and he said them to choose what Cup to drink from.
Searching for Secret Grail
*Choose carefully!*-was his warning.

To pick up gilded  CUP  was wrong,they should choose a Cup of wood,what Indiana did and broth his father to life!

The Acts of King Arthur and His Noble Knights

But,something there ,attracted my attention: the words of the Knight of the Templar

There was a price to be paid for this Treasure. That was Solitude because Holy Grail can’t cross a line and take out of the place where has been saved!

Strong Desire leads to the ultimate goal and exceeds limits.

This may open many questions regard to renunciation and dedication to get your Dreams,Goals or Desires come truth.Being i dedicated my lifetime to self-improvement,which was followed by self-renunciation/no sex,practicing with meditation -intellectual work/i am familiar with words of the Knight.

The Knights of theTemplars
If we turn around ourselves can see a Beautiful Diamond created by the nature through the centuries-it took a long time.There are Wonderful Paintings made by Vincent Van Gogh who gave whole his life to understanding and solving of a riddle of Nature in order to *Stole* her Secrets/i think the key secret were Colors,according to my interpretation/ to create Masterpieces.What price did he pay for that?He was hungry all time,had no Friends,had been exposed himself to sneers,had no family and went mad.


His words:*Even in case of success, the Paintings won’t bring me neither as much as it cost!*

*New Painters,alone,poor,considered of being INSANE and because of that really become INSANE!

Maybe,last sentence in best way illustrates Destiny of many Great Minds over the Human History,whatever it is about Painting,Literature  Music or in field of Science..What Lives of most of Great Creators and Minds in the world  looked like we all know very well.The main Point is absolutely Understanding of surrounding ,even a charge of a way they live own lives,including indifference toward their Works and Ridicule as well.

Of course ,the ones who look like monkeys are the common people and the brilliant Minds have been forced to stand injustice.

And always, i make a comparison with Space -like our Sun stays Magnificent and a remote Star pours out its Licentious Glow to us, in the same way act all these Outstanding Men ,resemble Precious Stone.


There are many roads in your life you can choose for living.At first you must have consciousness of a such possibility,then you need to make a decision,and arm yourself with Strong Will and Self-Sacrificing.

 My Secret Grail is my VICTORY  over old age-i got ETERNAL YOUTH


Vincent Van Gogh

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